Missing Like Hell......!!!!

31th BLOG POST -->>

So, we meet for the first time in the New Year- 2013. Leaving all that we had in 2012 behind. The relationship that bloomed in the last year is finally at its height now. No need to remain in the past. The one who remains in the past is a stale body and soul. The one who is in present is the one with whom the life is to be celebrated with. Hence, I want all of you to finally leave last year and step up into this new one in the same way as you change the calendar of your house with the provenance of a year. And with it, change your habits. Even if now you will keep on giving excuses, it's better to leave your life and transfer your soul into a new body which shall respect it more than you do. So better change yourself now.

            Life is changed a lot in just one year and not just life I feel am also changed.. or maybe I can sense it this time because its recent.. When I decided to do B.Tech I never thought it will be like this. Our dreams are always different from real thing.

            Life is being different and not so brilliant lately. I thought I’ll give myself some more time to realize what’s going missing and why I am lacking that spark inside. Everyday end up with a feeling of restlessness and dissatisfaction. Leaving behind regret that one more day is wasted in running in a “rat race”…..

People might be happy living such life. But I am not nor do I want to get used to it. I can’t even abuse here huh. I have not seen such people in my life. Hell man! So mean…. Forget about friendship they don’t even know the meaning of being human. Their every act and every step is selfish. This is not my world and I am dead sure! I know myself I can do much better things in life. I gave myself time and now I have realized….

I was so much happy being a student. Don't know why I am here. This is not something I wanted….. I can feel the suffocation inside. From last 1 week when I leave my room for college, canteen I feel like crying… I carry so much of hurt inside. Something badly wounded as if my soul is tapped in a prison crying and craving for freedom. I feel like am in a world of machines where everybody is just doing programmed things without any sense of emotion. May be I am not liking anything nor I can cope up with it that’s why its making me so negative. I am workable and I can do well in life but so sad ..don't know why I am wasting myself .... the worst part is…. Hell yaar! I don’t wanna mention here…. Huh…. It seems now I'm more towards negativity.

            I am angry with you God! Believe me I never expected this from you. If you are punishing me for my sins then I guess you should stop now its already too much! And how I cant stop loving you. And I am thankful for good things you gave me.... My people.... My family and friends..... And of course many other things too but please help me out. You know I am in trouble and I am waiting for your reply God..... Love ya...