Kab Se Khada Main Raahon Main Apna Dil Bichhaye Lekin Meri Mohabbat Pe Tujhko Yakeen Na Aaye....!!

74th BLOG POST -->>

Love story is amazing only of few peoples in the entire world. I not want to unveil this mystery in front of the entire world. This story is of three years ago when I was doing my graduation in college. This college gives me some moments which I could never share with anybody.  And in this college 5 years ago, I found love. Her world was very different from that of mine but her world doesn’t comprise of my world. But here some questions will be arising. Now how does it matter? So here I don’t know do you want to know the last page of this story or are you interested in knowing the entire story.  You want to live a whole life in a single moment. But I’ve lived my entire life in a single moment. You know how’s that possible? Sometimes a particular moment leaves a deep impact on your soul, which doesn’t leave you even after your death. Something such had happened in a lonely boy’s life. I was a loner, a free bird. I was happy. Little did I know that I would be rendered with sleepless nights? And the reason would be a girl.- that girl… she is the one about whom I’m telling here. She is the story of this love. This story begins from the first day of college.

I want to hold you close to me

I want you to be mine forever

I’m excited, there is fragrance in the air.

I have become crazy for you

I can see through I close my eyes.

I can’t express in words the love I feel for you.

Since from last three years on 24^th april,2011 I’m posting a blog post with the same title “I Still Remember That Day When You Rejected My Love” and also update a status on Facebook . Now this time it’ll be tweeted only on Twitter.  Even today I remember that day, it was Sunday, when I was going to mess with my friends for breakfast. I was very excited just to express my feelings. But here I’ll not discuss any incident of that day. But I was really very happy to express my feeling for someone. Sometimes you like a person’s small gesture and fall in love with her. I was touched by her kindness to such an extent that I prayed for her well being instead of mine.

Kabse Khada Main Raahon Main Apna Dil Bichhaye

Lekin Meri Mohabbat Pe Tujhko Yakeen Na Aaye

Kya dil hai tera  patthar ka Ya  chahat nahi dildaar ki

Dar hai kahin is jeevan ka Sapna tut na jaaye

Main ban jaau paagal aur duniya hasi udae

Kahde mujhse main mar jaooun

                   Ya thaam le baahein yaar ki....!! 

Now just come on the blog title. I always tell myself these things about everything happen for a reason and try to be positive. But it’s always better hearing it or reading it from someone else makes me feel much better about my experiences. Normally I’ve seen that when anyone of my classmate falls in love with another friend of the class and he keep asking her to accept his proposal. And it has been 1 year since this process has been stuck on same stage. He keeps begging and she rejecting his proposal. The result of this love has been the inclination of the boy towards alcohols, cigarettes etc and irresponsible life. Because of foolish love for her he has almost got a year drop and effect on the girl is equal to big zero. :D she is happy with her life, family and friends but she has no concern for that guy. She is scoring high marks in academics and also improving her personality every day. She was known to be short tempered but today I can see a very good controlling power in her. But the boy was perfect in 1^st year of graduation and was the best boy when it comes to maintaining sincerity and socialism. But today what I’m watching how he has turned his favorable life into an unfortunate one. All other friends feel pity for him but no one gives him sympathy because it was himself who have wasted his life just because he loves a girl like a baby loves his mother but who can be loyal like mother? Yaa I’m right. This is what young generation’s boys don’t understand.

One day I’ve asked the boy to stop following her and start following his career and studies, she will automatically come to you once he gets a good job and living standard or may be find someone other better. But every sentence of mine is as useless to him as Lalu Prasad Yadav's speech in the Parliament. Even you can get much more jokes like this…. :D. I know that I have the potential of influencing someone. :-) But here I have failed to change his ideology about the girl because that's not Love which he has for her, it’s just an extreme obsession. He just wants to own the girl. He wants the girl to be his in any condition. He is ready to wait for 7 years or even 14. He is ready to quit his family, religion and friends for her. He is ready to go to any level for impressing and getting her. There's a difference between enforcing someone to be with you and winning someone to love you as you love them. And when you do the latter one, you become inspiration for everyone but if you do the former one, you become an evil for the person you enforced to be with you and for everyone who saw you doing that. But when there is an obsession, your brain stops functioning in the right direction….!! :-) 

I remember my period when I was intrigued into a girl for a long time. I had no other work in my life than checking my mobile after every 30 seconds if a message popped in or not. Even when my mobile used to be on the General mode and I knew that a Ringtone will ping me as soon as a message will come on my mobile, I used to check considering that a fault would have arisen when her message would have came. This is how I kept augmenting my obsession and one day, when I came to knew that she left me and she is never going to talk to me again… I cried like hell. I cried so much that after a moment, even tears refused to show up. And the other one thing which used to be there was Facebook where I used to update about how sad I am and how much I am interested in ending my life. I used to do nothing except sitting idle in room or somewhere else. Reason of wasting this precious time of mine was obsession for that girl.

Coming to the girl whom my friend is trying to enforce to be with him- She used to like one of other college who was of her caste. Initially, she thought that as caste is not a problem and as he is single too, she may achieve him very soon. But the fate has something else. The boy never gave a look to her even when he knew that the girl is mad for him. He never ever tried to tell her that she is no one for him. He kept doing this for 3 years with her. Finally, one day he said YES. Every one of us knew that he replied positively because he wants to pass his time with her and leave when once done. But she never thought in the same manner because she was obsessed for him. She just wanted him. She was Okay even if he showered fake love for her but she wanted his love anyhow. At last, he left her and he insulted her every time when they were in relationship because he knew that she will bear all because she is obsessed. This resulted in her health, attitude and academics badly. I always felt bad whenever I used to see her crying like anything. But Solution? Null, because obsession ruled her. 


           Today's young boys and girls should understand that Love is not about showing obsession or getting obsessed with the person you love. Loving someone is far different than getting obsessed for them. If you love someone, you can see her getting her hands pampered by her male friends because you know that your love is strong but if you are obsessed, you will get short-tempered and you will hurt yourself after seeing her hand getting rubbed with someone else's hand. You will not even hurt her for this because you are obsessed for her. You can harm the world but you will never harm her. If you love someone, keep in mind that your happiness should be in the person's happiness and not in your happiness. And your Love should be Unconditional. You can never enforce anything on the person you love. You should be happy in whatever they give you- Either Love or Hatred. I am happy with my life with whatever she gave me because I never obsessed her, I always loved her.

But I love her, when she is at her best and worst. I've experienced it all... :-) :D. I’ve seen tears streaming down her face. Her eyes, so innocent, so pure, so broken, so honest when she cries. I've seen her infuriating, literally infuriating. Her face turns so red when she's mad. I’ve seen her smile like a fool. And her eye sparkles when she is laughing and smiling and just at her best mood. So beautiful. I accepted her in that way. Once, I saw that she wants to break off with me, I let her go without even asking the reason. Once, I saw that she don't even want to meet me, I stopped all my interactions with her. Because, I killed my obsession long before when that girl fooled me. This time I made it sure that I will not carry any obsession for this girl. And see, today she is… and I don't have any problem. :-) 


          Enough said. I know I have used obsession for numerous times above. Forgive me for that. :-) I just want people to be happy in love rather than getting hurt every another minute.

          Thanks. 

My First Love ....!!

73rd BLOG POST -->>

It was first day of college

The day my eyes fell on you first, was breezy
You came in an expedite to class, as your hair flow freely

Your dark hair was cascading like as waterfall

Your sinister smile was its sword which could not be explained in single word

Your eyes were looking as dark as castle situated in moat by midnight

You were glowing like a star
I was swept off by that magnificent first sight
She was the one, echoed my silly thought
It was like a fairy tale came into reality and I was stunned
That serene face of yours got imprinted on my mind
Days passed and I started staring at you, whenever I get a chance.
Not knowing I was into some sort of mental trance
I started liking whatever you like, forgetting what I need
I changed myself so that you would give me a little heed
Sometimes you caught my eyes, leaving me embarrassed
I felt the real pain of unrequited love as I was ignored
And one day, you made my heart leaps as you smiled at me
I still remember that wonderful moment of glee
You occupied my sleepless nights as I dreamt with my eyes open
Thinking that you liked me too, but alas I was wrong and waken
As I came to know, you liked him, more handsome than me
I told myself it’s not true and I refused to believe
The pain was awful and left me with a scar
Within me I was forced to a tacit war
It was not easy to get over those frozen memories
I began mending my broken heart with other thoughts
I was happy for you and want you to be happy always
I felt you deserved a person like him, as you are too good for me
As time heals everything, I became a new being
And life gave me a new meaning
It’s just infatuation, I've undergone and not real love
I was too juvenile to discern between the two
I took a wrong decision in having fallen for you
Maybe you are not the right girl for me in God’s point of view

I had not loved anyone in all my life as you
True love would never make you to force a change
It accepts you, as the real you, whatever you are
However it is real true, that first love will not be forgotten
Not as a loss for me, but as the one to strengthen me
May be, the real one born for me is yet to come
I keep waiting, my fingers crossed for her, her dame

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