What is Love.... My Feeling About It....!!

60th BLOG POST -->>

          Being around people who have relationship with their other half has brought me one step closer to actually understanding them. Relationships are indeed a roller coaster ride and it is never a bed of roses. TRUST ME when I tell you that. There is one incident I love and the view of it is just wow like wow wow….!!
         
           Love is an eternal feeling, I know. All of us fall in love at least once in our life. Even the Burkha-clad girls who are kept all their life in a bedroom knows what love is and praise God that their Prince Charming will come the day they'll be ready for marriage. Even a child before his birth starts loving his mother. Well, I am not talking about the love and devotion that the parent-child shares. I am talking about the one that all of us crave for. Does the wait for love ever ends? Yes, it ends. Not with the person whom we want but with the person who's suitable for us. They may be the same person but generally they aren't. I have always talked against love because it gives pain, either regularly, occasionally or all at once, in the end. 99% of the love stories have sad-ending. I don't want any more stories in my life that ends with tears and regrets hence I always prefer to be away from what we often call- Love.
       
          But what when you get into a relationship with someone that's above Love. I don't have the word for it. The person with whom I have this feeling for asked me, “You always said that you don't love me then why often do you keep saying that you love me". Because no writer, no creator, no grammar naazi, no literature master ever went into the intensity of this feeling to which he could have named something. There's friendship. There's love. There's admiration. There's respect. There's devotion. But there's no name given to this what I am fallen into. I, if some day, will get enough talented and learned, I would give this feeling a word. A word that will let us know what was Sudama's approach for Krishna, Meera's approach for Krishna and Mohammed's approach for Allah. I hope my feeling will have a name.

          In last  post I write -People call it a love affair while other call it a relationship with benefits while some may call it Many-Nights-Stand. But will I ever be able to clarify what my heart has named the relationship as? No. Will I ever go to defend myself? No. This feeling shall remain in heart forever. Only with the last breathe, when my soul will leave the body will this feeling go away from me. But till I am alive and a part of this world, this shall stay with me. I never say that love happens with just a person. It can happen with two at a time while with many at different times in our life but whenever it is, it gives a meaning to life. Some die for it, some cry for it and some like me, try for it. Some gets successful, some fails, some gets defamed while some become Shah Jahaan.. A person like me never gets accolade but live all his life in loving an eternal person with a beautiful body and a confused mind.

           Saying it in front of the world is not easy. Love in my nation, my country and my society is not so easy. Love here is a forbidden and will remain to be. Only if I could have owned the person and the person would have had the same feeling for me, everything would have been easy. Really? No. Then there comes a segment where the partner is being judged with qualifications, beauty, money, past etc. You are hurled with questions and you get tired of answering. I will not but I will never be able to break the heart of those who are my creators. But I can fight till late. I can fight till I have inner power and belief and hope. I will not run away from society to conquer what is mine but I will invite society in the soul-meeting ceremony. I am not the one who'll hide his angel from the world. For me, it is beautiful. For me, its divine. For me, its mine. :-)

          May be this birth is not meant for me to love and conquer the person. May be this birth is meant for me to shed tears and wait for the results to come as the mind processes. May be this birth will remain unsuccessful throughout. But the power of my heart which tells me to keep devoting myself to the one who gives me energy, life, smile, substance, meaning, improvement, commitment, company etc, will always stay strong and the same. It will make me a revolutionist if I start telling people what I think of it. But will I ever do this? No. Already the heart beats every minute for the one, already every breathe tells me that all has been achieved, life is in flow, just a leg of the stool is missing, go get that one which is yours but still not with you, and live life with all that you dream to be yours.

         I always asked people in long distance relationship that how they survive. They gave me many reasons but I never understood them. Today when I find the person near me but yet too far away from me, I realize why being physically away and mentally together is more of a spiritual love than being in each other's arm but yet not together. When I shall look into the eyes, it should reflect me. When I shall hold the hand, it should grab me with tighter grip. When I shall kiss, I must find myself being the slave and not the master in this act of love. I want the attention. I want the preference. I want the presence of God near me. I find the one as an angel in life and as angels are sent by God, the person is no less than God for me. I don't mind the rumors, I don't mind the rejection, I don't mind the abuses of society and elders. I mind my life and its desires. And the greatest desire is always unaccomplished. The job is to complete the imperfection and get the life that's mine.

          My feeling is yet undefined. But I understand it. May be this can keep me away from a permanent partner for a long period of time. I am ready to stay alone. Let this thing make people call me someone who are not lovable. I am ready to be known as loser. But whenever I would get, I will get the one I have the feeling for or someone exactly like the person I have feeling for. Though the latter looks impossible but the former is possible. It's difficult. You can't control the feelings and mindset of another but you can make the one part of your meditation. I hope my concentration will magnetize the whole environment towards me and the person will automatically find only me around the body that is permanent. I don't know whether this feeling will be understood by the one and the people but it shall always remain with me.. Till I live.. Till I die. And Till I Come Back With a Re-Birth. :-)

Thanks....!!

Falling In Love With You....!!

59th BLOG POST -->>

               This post comes in my mind when I was talking with my teacher Arun sir, My friend Ankur Pratap Singh and Abhishek Asht. Arun sir, Who is something much more than a teacher? I’ll say he is a close friend but I call him sir and always share his personal problem. Especially today he was talking about his love Preety. Even today I was talking with Mr. Ankur Pratap Singh, was a classmate in my college reminds me same thing about love. He is a good friend little different form crowd. You always say:-" Baba, Aap Mahan Hai". ha ha ha I don't what so special in me ki I"m Mahan. And he always reminds me of Govind Sharma. Both they were similar in using these words.Some other friend also uses these words.  Even Abhishek Asht, a full of comedian… I like your child like nature.
               I am just shocked to see many of my friends from last 4 years getting involved in a forced relationship and then crying for rest of their life for the break up between them and many of them trying to commit suicide and failing each time. I am happy that they fail. At least God is trying to preach the message to live and suffer rather than end and rest. I hope my friends will get brain and every one in this world thinking of ending the life because of your partner will Grow up. There are many more things to do in life. I don't know the correct grammar of English, still I blog. Why? To keep myself engaged with something and be happy. My readers read my blog and share their views about it which makes me more-than-happy. So, try to do something else in your life and love it rather than loving a person who has no value for you in his/her life.
                 Falling in love maybe one of the greatest feelings ever. There is an actual chemical process that happens to a person who is falling in love. All of the senses have a greater intensity. Colors seem brighter, sounds more resonant and smells more powerful when you are in love. When you are with your lover there is no greater feeling in the world, and when you're not you spend all your time thinking of each other. Falling in love is truly an awesome feeling.

Whenever I'm around you, 

I feel like life's complete. 

I don't know what to say, 

But you make my heart beat. 

I'm scared to say hello,

But it hurts to say good-bye. 

Whenever I'm around you, 

I feel like life's complete. 

I don't know what to say, 

But you make my heart beat. 

Why is it when I look in your eyes,I see the love burning inside me.

why is it when you hug me,

the world melts with us.

I'm not scared to love you.

I'm okay when your around.

You've given my heart a soundtrack.

I happen to like the sound.

To you I might just be a little boy,

but give me the one chance.

I could show you a whole new world.

So take my hand and let me lead this dance.

Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,

Scared of these feelings because it’s still new

I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,

Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you

                 “Wo dukh jyada nahi deta hum us ki choti choti baten bhi jyada feel kartey hain. Same kaam koi aur shakhs kare tu bura nahi lagta....... problem actions main nahi apni feelings main hoti hai. Insan disturb tu buhut ziada hota hai but we should always try to move forward. ja chuka wo kabhi nahi aye ga but life main use replace karne wala koi na koi zaroor aa jata hai so better is to find the right person instead of wasting time for the last one.”

         
             People call it a love affair while other call it a relationship with benefits while some may call it Many-Nights-Stand. But will I ever be able to clarify what my heart has named the relationship as? No. Will I ever go to defend myself? No. This feeling shall remain in heart forever. Only with the last breathe, when my soul will leave the body will this feeling go away from me. But till I am alive and a part of this world, this shall stay with me. I never say that love happens with just a person. It can happen with two at a time while with many at different times in our life but whenever it is, it gives a meaning to life. Some die for it, some cry for it and some like me, try for it. Some gets successful, some fails, some gets defamed while some become Shah Jahaan.. A person like me never gets accolade but live all his life in loving an eternal person with a beautiful body and a confused mind.

At last I’ll say only that for achieving your love, you have to wait for months, years and sometimes, for the whole life. When there is a true love, there is a struggle from both side. Before that, they lived just as friends. Love is not about getting physically involved with each other. But, it is about getting the person in any circumstances. But when you get him/her, you get it wholly. :-)

Thanks

Awesome Moment On Teacher's Day Celebration....!!

58th BLOG POST -->>

         

             It's Teacher's Day- A day that's specifically meant for teachers. And today I was present in BM Education Society for teacher’s day celebration. It was completely awesome. Today I got a chance to come on stage in front of full staff and near about eight hundred students sitting in front of me. I was invited by Suman the president of BM Education Society Clapping of students was touching my ears and I was forward to stage with a peaceful smile. It was nice to listen a speech given by National President of Republican Welfare Congress, Dr. Naresh Jangra. Whole day I was staff members.
These days are mostly special for those who are out of their academics and don't get much chance to interact with their teachers. For them, its a day when they can call or talk to their teachers or just remember them. For us, it is like a suffering that we have to deal every day. Yes, teachers feel that they are to be respected by default irrespective of what they are to us or how do they conduct themselves to us. This is where a wall between the students and teacher builds up. This is from where one starts hating teacher and teacher starts taking revenges of not being loved.

             One thing that I have learnt in life is- Learn. Learning is the best way of progressing. Until and unless you keep your arrogance and egoism in prioritization, you will never be able to learn new aspects. Life does not have limits. It is vast, dynamic and interminable. What has limits are just and just our thoughts. If we align them to infinity. If we customize them from 0 to a number that is imaginary only by God then we will get a chance to subscribe ourselves to many things. The basic example of understanding what I am trying to convey is our college lecture. The day we keep ourselves intrigued in mobile or sleep or chit-chatting with our friends on the last bench, we know nothing about what happened in class. But the day we sit on any of the front benches and listen to what teacher is trying to make us understand, we get the concept so easily that we feel as if the topic is made for children and why does it even have a place in our syllabus. Right? Now you understood. An example is must when I talk. Hai na? :-)

             Not everyone is excellent in every part of his/her life. Even if one seems to be almost perfect, there are some defects and things that are below par. Or if someone is not very good in things that you do or see him doing, he might be best in something that you are still unaware of. Hence always keep an approach of asking people as to what they love doing or they are good in. Everyone loves boasting about their good qualities. And then don't skip it by saying that you aren't interested in the particular thing. Learn some basic features through them and start trying things. Learn it. And you will find a profound reason to live. Just breathing, eating, talking, surfing internet and sleeping is not THE LIFE. It is just a survival- a method of it. And who survives? Poor who does not have chances or opportunities. Or the one who does not have brain to think about it. Are you any of them? No. You have all the powers- Mental, physical and financial. Go For Things.

           People always abuse me for my working culture. Even when I watch TV, people look at me as if I am doing crime. Because I always watch things that can teach me something. And even if I watch something entertaining, I observe Arts and then try to implement it when I am doing it sometimes later. I ask my mother to let me watch The News hour because its something that teaches us- debating, use of English language, thoughts related to different topics etc. I watch Bhagvat Katha and other programs on Aastha Channel. It tells the power of meditation. I watch only those parts in a Cricket match that shows a Cricketer scoring a Hundred or when Sachin Tendulkar/MS Dhoni bats. It gives me energy. When I see a Dance reality show, I try to observe new steps so that I can implement it next time I dance… ha ha ha very funny because I’m not dancing and even now I’ve tried but was not possible to dance :-) When I watch an Award function, I keep on observing the hosts and learn the timing when a joke or filler is to be inserted. I want to be everything. And thus I want to learn everything. I feel that I should know little bit of everything in life so that I always have some knowledge about any field people are talking/discussing about.

            I don't feel weird when I see that my doings are related to learning new things. Recently, I participated in a competition named "Mi Mumbaikar" in which there were different levels of Quiz Competition based on questions about Mumbai. A girl who participated in the group in which I also was a part of cleared the next level which I didn't. When I asked friends I got to know that she used to analyze the places/areas of Mumbai when she used to roam/hang-out with her fiancee. Then she used to come home and search about the whole history of the areas she visited. Impressive! And what other girls/boys do? See into eyes of each other and come back. What the .... !!! Drown into each other's eyes but remember, life is beyond this sanctity. Hahaha! Sorry hansi aa gayi. Is shreni k logon ki lene mein mujhe ek vibhinn aanand milta hai jo sirf mera hruday samajhta hai. :-)

             Basically, what I am saying is- LEARN THINGS. If you are a boy, learn everything that's possible. We have more areas to visit in comparison to girls. We have many fields in which we can try our hands in. So why not be dynamic and Jack-of-all? If you are a girl, try everything that's related to indoor activities and then also that are meant for a gutsy to execute. Right from cooking, sweeping, washing to getting official works done to driving car to traveling alone.. Learn!!! And when you learn, don't feel ashamed about what others are thinking when you are falling again and again. To learn, if you have to approach someone who is a master of that Art, go with confidence, again, don't be ashamed of this.

          Once you learn almost everything that you hear about from people around you, you feel independent. Why to be dependent on someone who is born with the same number of bones and muscles as us? Why not challenge and get ahead? Why not? No reason, right? So start learning and exploring. I have used this word- "Explore" number of times in my posts. Because I myself want to explore many things but I am confined to very few. These days I am trying to do what I used to do when I was child. Because when we are child, we fear none and hence we try every damn thing. Let's do the same now. We are just 20s or at most 30s... Right? Even when you read this medium, you learn something, right? No? Ok Sorry. I should move now before something terrorizing happens. :-)

Thanks

The Stormy Night ....!!

57th BLOG POST -->>

Last night it was difficult to sleep

In my small hut in the woods

The thunder storm was frightening

Riding the west wind came

The princess of lightening

The brightness enough to light the underworld 

Was blinding

Clouds filling the skies

Beautiful lighting show in the distance

Flashing like a disco ball, exciting to all

I calm you down,

I assure you that you're safe.

I tell you I love you,

Until the time becomes late

You tell me something,

My heart cannot stand

She was surprised

God’s creation could be so wretched

I was awed

It could be so beautiful

She brought an army of happiness

To conquer my solitary world

At victor’s feet laid my heart

Willingly I surrendered

We played silly games

Sang melodious duets

How I wished

The night would never end

Our worlds could never meet

But desire knew no bound

I wanted to change

Pretended to be a poet

Tried to be compassionate

But I failed to overcome

What was destined?

In a mortal’s life

Not everything could be attained

The night was long

When morning arrived

She was gone

If only I could dream on.

Girl Friend Ho Toh Aisi Ho Nahi Toh Single Status Hi Acha Hai....!!

56th BLOG POST -->>

            After a perfect trailer and songs that were shown on television, it was no doubt that I decided to watch Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani as soon as it comes in the theater near me. :-) But was not possible to watch in theater. I got the movie from my friend Gaurav Sharma. I am happy with him that he always provides me new movies. It's amazing to know that both brothers Gaurav and Ravi are fan of Hindi cinema. Salute!!! Well, now let's get back to the review of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. Movie is a perfect definition of a dramatic movie which has all the elements of a light and entertaining movie imbibed. Ranbir's stardom, Deepika Padukone's fan following, Ayan Mukherjee's intelligence and money of Karan Johar has been used perfectly which makes this movie a sure one time watch event. If you miss it, yes you miss a good entertaining movie if you are a fan of Hindi cinema than a bloody show-off critic who tries to act intellectual by abusing good movies. 

            Movie starts with Deepika Padukone remembering the events of 8 years ago and the movie goes into flashback. We get to know about the trekking camp Deepika went with Ranbir Kapoor and Kalki Koechlin, her school mates along with Aditya Roy Kapoor who is best friend with Kalki currently. Deepika is a complete study-buff as she keeps on studying her medical course's books. She is fed up of her boring life and wants to enjoy as others do. While Ranbir Kapoor is someone who dislikes studying and struggling with the same average life that everyone lives. He wants to go for a World Tour and cover all the countries. Though both the personalities are different, they fall in love with each other later on but does not get along easily. Once the interval happens, the movie is all about Ranbir Kapoor's dreams, Deepika Padukone's current life in India, how he returns back for 3 weeks for Kalki's marriage (after 8 years) and gets along with Deepika again and several other events. To know the whole story, go watch the movie. :-)

             Ranbir Kapoor is surely going to be everyone's favorite after this movie as it is going to be hat-trick(Rockstar, Barfi and now this) of awesome performances by him without much flaws. Every time he is up on the screen, you don't want him to leave. His dialogue delivery, smile, activities and dance- everything is too perfect to make him the Super Star that Bollywood has been waiting for after Khans and Hrithik. :-)

              Deepika Padukone has never looked this beautiful. Yes. Not even in Cocktail where she looked too sexy to make us control ourselves. :-) In specs, she has looked very cute and sweet. Every time she was up on the screen, my heart said,"Girl friend ho toh aisi ho nahi toh Single status hi achcha hai". :-) She has acted beautifully and gave full justice to the role of Naina. Her smile will keep killing me always. :-)

              Speaking about Aditya Roy Kapoor, even when he plays a Supporting actor's role, he leaves a good sign behind. You already know what his debut solo movie- Aashiqui 2 has been - Super Hit. So undoubtedly, he has been phenomenal. Kalki Koechlin has also played her part finely with funny dialogues and awesome bubbly nature. 

            Coming to the movie, it delivers out a message even when the movie has been made as a commercial Bollywood flick. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara-types but still not as brilliantly as Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was made with. :-) It shows how Ranbir chooses to move out of India for his dream leaving his best friends behind even when he loves them. How he becomes an achiever in his career shows that sacrifices do gives results. It is also been shown how friends start judging and hating him for his selfishness. How they taunt him for his behavior regarding his father but still Ranbir Kapoor is happy with his life because he is following his dream. Wasting time with friends is ill for your life is perfectly shown as Aditya in one dialogues says to Ranbir that in 8 years you didn't even call me for more than 10 times. :-) I also liked how he does not leave his dream for his love- Deepika Padukone even during the climax of the movie. With the story of Kalki, it is beautifully shown as to how one should not go with the one we love, but with the one with whom we are really happy. It is shown how she chooses a man with money than a man losing his money and career even when she loved him. Deepika's part is also beautifully shown as to how she does not break up when Ranbir leaves her for 8 years and never contacts her during that time period. She keeps on living her life rather than getting depressed or singing sad songs. Haha!!! In all, I found the movie very captivating and enriching. Well done, Ayan Mukherjee.

           Else, the songs are been choreographed wonderfully. Ranbir Kapoor dances in his very unique style. Deepika also makes us tap our feet with her steps. Madhuri Dixit's item song in the beginning is also a nice way to start the movie. Climax is done perfectly. Film is of 2.41 hours but still it does not bore you like Agneepath did. Locations shown in the movie are again terrific even when 90% of the parts are being shot in India. And yes, something to clear, though the Producer/Director/Actors of the movie are promoting Manali, most of the parts are shot in Kashmir(Gulbarg) and shown as if its Manali. This is something that the audience and public won't appreciate. So Dharma Productions, please clarify soon before Omar Abdullah sues you. :-) In all, I would say that please go for the movie as its already Housefull.  

I MET HER ON THE WAY....!!

55th BLOG POST -->>

I met her on the way- I met her on the way

The thing I was scared of, that only happened.

I was scared of the name of love.

I was scared of what will happen to my heart.

I was scared of the name of love.

I was scared of what will happen to my heart.

I was scared of what will happen to my heart

Love, that only happens to me

Love, that only happens to me

The thing I was scared of, that only happened

I don’t like anything without you 

Where ever I see I can see you only

I don’t like anything without you

Where ever I see I can see you only

Life has become like a marriage procession for stars !

Life has become like a marriage procession for stars !

The thing I was scared of, that only happened

My eyes cry in your name like it’s raining.

You are in my heart like a heartbeat

My eyes cry in your name like its raining.

You are in my heart like a heartbeat…. Like a heartbeat!

Everywhere it’s raining love. Everywhere it’s raining love.

The thing I was scared of, that only happened

I met her on the way I met her on the way

The thing I was scared of, that only happened

LET ME LOVE YOU

54th BLOG POST -->>

(Copied ,Writer:Unknown)

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so let's gotheir own ways there and then…. Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company....!!

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life…!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life….!!

Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery and he got out of his car and followed them....and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone.... And he saw his precious paper cranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb.

Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her llness to be his obstacle.... Therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

A Cute Love Story.... Whatever Is Inside You, SAY IT.....!!

53th BLOG POST -->>

Parveen and Sargam are sitting alone in the park one night....!!

Parveen: I guess we are the left overs in this world.

Sargam: I think so...All of my friends have boyfriends and we are only the 2 persons left in this world with                   out any special person in our life.

Parveen: Yup I don't know what to do.

Sargam: I know! We'll play a game

Parveen: What game?

Sargam: I'll be your girl friend for 30 days and you will be my boy friend.

Parveen: That's a great plan in fact i don't have nothing to do much this following weeks....!!

DAY 1:

They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film

DAY 4:

They went to the beach and have a picnic... Parveen and Sargam have their quality time together.

DAY 12:

Parveen invited Sargam to a circus and they ride on a Horror House....Sargam was scared and she touched Parveen's hand but she touched someone else's hand and they both laughed....!!

DAY 15:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said: "My darling, Please don't waste the time of your life...SPend the rest of your time together happily" Then tears flow out from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:

Sargam invited Parveen to go to the hill and they saw a meteor...Sargam mumbled something.

DAY 27:

They sat on the bus and because of a bumby road Sargam gave her first kiss to Parveen by accident

DAY 29:

11:37pm

Sargam and Parveen sat in the park where they first decided to play this game...

Parveen: I'm tired Sargam...Do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road

Sargam: Apple Juice that's all

Parveen: Wait for me....

20mins later... a stranger approached Sargam

Stranger: Are you a friend of Parveen?

Sargam: Why yes? What happened?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Parveen and he is critical in the hospital

11:57pm

The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple juice and a letter

Doctor: We found this in Parveen's pocket

Sargam reads the letter and it says:-

Sargam, This past few days, i realized you are a really cute girl and i am really falling for you.... Your cherish smile your everything when we played this game..... Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for the rest of my life.... I love you Sargam....!!

Sargam crumples the paper and shouted:- "Parveen ! i don't want you to die... I love you...Remember that night when we saw a meteor, I mumbled something... I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don't leave me Parveen.... I love you! You cannot do this to me!" Then the clock strikes 12. Parveen's heart stop pumping 

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY

LESSON: Whatever u feels, whatever is inside you, SAY IT…Tomorrow maybe too late coz

LIFE is too short.

Let Me Tell You My Feelings....!!

52th BLOG POST -->>

Let this smoke be as it is

Let me tell you my feelings

I am crazy for your love

Let me burn in love

Your glance has touched my heart

I am entranced by your love

Burning in love gives a strange satisfaction

Hold me in your arms

Come close…. Come close to me

Come close to me

Let this smoke be as it is

Let me tell you my feelings

I am crazy for your love

Let me burn in love

Let this smoke be as it is

 This heat, this softness

What can I say about this thirst?

I am always lost in your love’s trance

This is the blistering ashes of our passion

Let me become dust again

O my beloved

Let this smoke be as it is

Let me tell you my feelings

I am crazy for your love

Let me burn in love

Let this smoke be as it is

Silence Is The Best Hathyar.....!!

51th BLOG POST -->>

             Well, After enjoying whole night on roads and malls with friends I am finally at home in Delhi, with my laptop in front of me and left over Paw bhaji and a coffee ready to be consumed. The book is moving rapidly, and I'm finding myself getting more and more excited as each day goes by….!!
             Why then do I have this impending feeling of dread riding my gut?
            Oh wait. It might be because I feel thoroughly unprepared and nervous. Ah.
As Silence of the Wolves moves forward so too do my nerves! I mean, all I keep thinking is 'what if they hate it?' And seriously... I'm absolutely terrified!
I've also been desperately trying to arrange some form of blog tour and finding myself inadequately prepared for that too! With lots of 'there isn't enough time's' coming my way, I am finding myself freaking out somewhat!
             SO I could sit idly by and watch my release date come and go, hope like hell people just happen to type 'Hannah Pole' into Amazon out of the blue. Or I could do my damned best to try and reach all of the lovely urban fantasy fans out there and say 'Hey, I wrote a novel.. it's about wolves.. Give it a bash!'
Yup. I think I'll opt for the second one. But then at what point do my constant rambles get irritating? I mean I don't want people to be like 'ahh that Hannah Pole girl is really annoying! Will she just shut up already?!' I want them to be like, 'Whoa. Silence of the Wolves sounds AMAZING! Now come to the point here we are discussing about Silence…

       Does telling the one who does not feel any good about you about the good that you have done to them has any meaning?

       Does letting someone understand what their fault has been proliferates the density of Friendship/Relationship?    

    Can an argument or a healthy discussion repair all the loopholes in the relationship?

         I don't think answer of any of these questions could be positive. It should never be. People around me who know my attitude always say that I should talk to the person I feel I have problems with. They say that I should tolerate them more. They say that I should make them know what I was expecting and what bad they did in return. They say that an argument itself can bring things in control as they will realize that its them in fault and not me. But my heart, soul and mind, the learning of all these years say that I shouldn't discuss any glitches I have with them. I feel that a person will change him/herself if he/she really feels that they are wrong. And if in a relationship I'll have to tell their mistakes, its better not to have the relationship. A bonding never takes place until and unless there's no belonging-ness. Belonging is important. And when you discuss such matters, it shows that its diminishing.

          For me, being "silent" is the best healer of every thing. It's better to stay quiet and show everyone as if I am as normal as I always was. Or to fake that I am not in the mood of talking and conversing. Whatever but never discuss the pain that they have given to me. Never let them know through my words the amount of hurt they have caused. Stay silent and see what's their take on the issue. Life is so vast. People keep coming and going. If someone wants to go, if someone wants to show that their selfishness is above anything in world, it's better to walk away. Staying in a relationship isn't important if there's no clapping from both the sides. I have tried a lot at personal level. I have thrown the "I" factor long back and always worked as team. I compromised at almost every level. With some with their behavior. With some with their morals and values. With some for their belief. With some because of their backgrounds. With some because of their childishness. But now I want them to compromise with me for my weirdness. And now is the test of friendship. Now I am wanting to see if they stay or not.

           Some will keep trying. But a trial does not assures if the person is serious about continuing or is doing just for the sake of not getting into bad book of ours. I and everyone understands such friends. This world is full of so-called Friends. The real one shines automatically. Neither one has to say nor prove. When bad time goes, a wise person automatically comes to know which people really worked for him. There is difference between wishing to work for someone and willing to work and then really working. The last part turns me on. Friendship is a dull thing for me until and unless a friend does not understand what my silence, my life says. If everything has to be said by me, done by me, asked by me, its better to make new friends then. On demand, even they will make me feel good. But the one who does this without I asking for it are the ones who makes me sure about them. These people are surely being with me for a long time.

            Clapping in my good times can be done even by a stranger but the one who comes to support me in my worst scenarios are the one who would be considered once the time changes again. And unfortunately, no one comes to support in bad times. They leave you and go for the betterment of their own selves. They find new funny and successful friends. They leave you. You become waste and useless for them until they realize that some works of their life can be accomplished in a smoother way if accompanied by you. This is how the whole process is. And in such times, you should take some hardcore decisions. All life of yours is already spent in sacrificing yourself for their benefits but what they always saw was your 1 or 2 mistakes. From now onward, make it sure that you don't help anyone by sacrificing yourself. Help only when you find that you are free and are willing to. Not when they need you. You are already been used extensively. Now is the time to wake up and understand things.

            Every time when I have done what people have done to me, I am been talked about as if I am the first one to start. They claim the down shift of the friendship from the time I started acting weird. They don't include their numerous tiny and major faults because of which I had to take such decisions. I am always blamed. I am always questioned as to why did I do it. I am always gossiped about. I am fine. I know that there are certain things of mine in which you were sometimes a support but I was never dependent upon you. I am always ready to live my life by myself and on my own terms. Like all of you, I don't impose my terms upon others. I keep my terms and conditions confined only up to myself. What you blamed me for is what you are yourself doing. This is what happens when a Friendship is made or retained or kept only because of selfishness. This should be prohibited.

            In all these circumstances, conditions, instances, I don't complain. I never tell the persons their mistakes even if they make me sit with them and discuss. I keep on iterating that there's nothing that I have in my heart. I make them feel assured that the reason of my absence in their life since a time being is not because of them but because of some other reasons. What is the benefit out of this? I, unlike others, don't do things for friends to make them feel obliged towards me. i do it because that's the way I am. That's what my mother has taught me since childhood- to keep helping others. But one lesson that I learnt while helping others is that never make them know what all you have done for them or compromised because of them. Once said, everything becomes ZERO. Till the time you don't speak it out, it remains there. Understand!!! Never go to clear things by telling the problems. A real friend understands what problem you are in or have from him/her. Silence is all that you should be in. It's the best hathyar. :-) Try controlling yourself once. You will see magical changes.

 Thanks.

Crying Is A Very Good Aspect Of Life.....!!

50th BLOG POST -->>

             I have always been conducive about one thing. Whenever I get a phone call or a Facebook ping by any of my friend or a Blog reader and he/she tells me his/her problem, the only thing that I have to say them at the very first is to stop crying. And the good thing about them is that they listen what I say. If I say that you need to stop shedding tears, they just stop crying because they know that something good is about to enter in their ears which will change their perspective about the thing that they are worried about. I have not reserved the record of counts as to how many times I have stopped people from crying but now I think that I have done a mistake. I should not have asked these people to stop crying. I should have made them cry as much as they needed to. And then I should have told them that this is the last time that you cried on the same matter. From here you need to be strong.

            Crying is termed as something which is sign of a weak person. Yes it surely is. When one does not find any way or does not get a solution to the problem, he/she tends to break down and release water through their eyes. But my question to every such person is that up till when they will keep punishing themselves about something that is not a good part of their life. Yes. If something has started making you cry and weep every now and then, the part needs to get out of life. We have to be strong in the cases that are not subjective to make us happy and gay. I have seen many people cry. I have seen my mother and even father cry. But then they came out of that problem. They fought against it. Won it. Conquered it. At some places when they felt that the thing is out of their reach, they stopped dreaming about it. They smiled and let it go. Today, I don't think that there's anything that my parents have dreamed of and they don't have it. The only thing left is to see me earning lakhs of money every year. :-) I hope I will make this dream a possibility too. Let's see!

           Crying is a very good aspect of life but only when you use it to make yourself more stronger than before. If you are crying that is leading to weakness, health problems, vomiting, head ache etc, it's better to keep yourself strong and be with people those make you laugh than thinking about those who have brought you in this situation. Even if there is some problem, everything heals with time. This is a fact and every one of us has experienced this in life. The problem is that we don't remember such things. We tend to forget good things about our life. We only remember bad and cry. Wrong! I don't do this. I have best buddy with me. I have other good friends who take a very good care of me. I have such wonderful parents. I have readers like all of you. Why do I need to think about someone who is not ready to consider me in his/her life? Don't I have anything better to shed my tears on?

           I remember the day my result was out. As I and mummy were ready to see a failed result, a Passing result with satisfactory marks was something that we never even saw in our dreams. Just after the result was been witnessed, I got up from my chair, went close to my mother, hugged her and cried like anything. A grandma asked my mausaji to control me but he said let him cry. And it helped. Once I welled up all my emotions, I felt better. All the pain of last 4 years went away with the last tear. I got witnessed to a good and happy life. Then I remember the day when I got my admission in B.Tech. I learnt that I have gone in a totally new college where I would be having no friend of mine. My mother and father were too happy to control themselves while I sat in my bedroom and cried a lot after they slept. For the whole night I kept on thinking that I was punishing myself by going away from them but then that is what life demanded then. And that 2 hours of cry in the night at my bedroom helped me to attend the initial days of the college until I got my best friend there. If I would not have cried that night and pretended to be strong, I would have never attended the college and gone on the wrong path. But it helped.

           As we are young, we get more emotional than anyone else. As our generation is facing lot of things, we tend to get fixed up in a blunder every now and then and then it becomes hard to bring everything on the track yet again. Cry only when you know that it's a solution to the problem. But not when you know that it will only generate health issues and kill whatever strength and potential you already have. Now I have thought that I will not ask people to stop crying when they'll suddenly hear something that they never want to but I will ask them to cry as much as possible and only once when they will be done, I will start helping them. I will myself try to not be a crying baby when I would know that it is doing no good to me. Let's try this folks. I just want all of you to leave crying when not necessary. Let's end this game of weeping with this 50th Blog Post itself and with next post, let's start a new tendency towards living. Ready? I am!

 Thanks.

SOCIETY !!!! What good things has SOCIETY done for us ?

49th BLOG POST -->>

    

         Society!!! What does your mind think when it hears this word? I am sure it starts analyzing everything that you do considering it to be right. We fear that we won't be accepted if the particularity that we are involved in is offensive or considered sin. It's hard to impress society. But the truth is that all of us have one society that we live in. Many feel that it's impossible to ignore society and do what we feel like. But what I think is- Society has no role in my life until and unless it has uplifted my position and brought me to a level at which I could see myself a slave of it. There has not been a moment when this society has brought a dynamic change in me or my parent's life. The 3 of us have fought our battles ourselves. We never got a true support from any of them. Some of you may say that our best of best friends are also the part of society then how can you, the blogger, say that we can ignore the society? True. Our friends are also considered as a society. Now, if you feel that what they say has substance, consider them as your friends. If you feel that what they say is meager an accusation at you or your modus operandi, consider them a part of society and start ignoring. Losing some people is beneficial when it's about your happiness and progress.

            Suppose the society I live in is a pure Hindutva society. It does not believe in making any kind of friendship or interaction with any of the Muslims. And I have some of Muslim friends visiting my house almost on daily basis. Some coming for night-outs too. These people won't feel nice and secured. They'll start talking about my friendship with Muslims behind me. After few days, they'll start indirect comments while conversing with me or my parents. Now what do you think should I reply back with? By asking all my Muslim friends to meet me in a totally different area just because my society is too narrow-minded to consider them as humans? Or should I continue with the way my happy life is? I will, in any case, continue with the latter part of the discussion. This society won't come to help when I will be beaten by few Muslims if some riot happens. Then why does this society comes to me when I am enjoying my life with those people whom they consider indifferent?

            I remember the bad times I had. Which part of this society came to help me? No one. When my father was jobless and was trying to get a good stable one to feed himself and his family, which part of this society came for help? No one. When my mother faced some personal problems with her hometown, which part of this society came for her rescue? No one. Then, the 3 of us supported each other- in all ups and downs. We, 3, maintained a trust and interactivity among ourselves. Then there were few friends who came to help. Here "few" does not guarantee even 5 people. The degree of "few" is too less to even number them here. For me, those few people are society. But even then up to a significant level. After that, what I am going to hear is my conscious. When I started writing Blogs, it was my choice. What I tried to build? A Reader Base. If some of my very good readers would suggest me to change, I would consider it as an option. But if some of my friends would come and tell me to change my way of working on this medium, I'll have to snub them. They are no one to decide what I do in my life and how.

           If I would roam with a Muslim girl, this society will say that I am doing all wrong with religion. If I'll roam with someone from my religion (not with planning and plotting), the same society would blame me of violating the terms of my religion by showcasing it as of one that does not respect the credentials of a woman; and permits her to roam with a boy freely on roads. If I share a beautiful friendship with a girl and later on marry someone else, they'll say that I roamed with random girls and got married to someone who's virgin. If I'll marry the same girl, they'll say,"It's a Love Marriage. We always knew that their relationship is not just of a friendship but much more than that". In any case, society will gossip about me. So for their gossiping and to change their momentum of gossiping, do I need to start maintaining distance with my female friends or do I need to start living alone, a life of recluse? I don't need to change anything as I don't give a damn.

              There are people drinking alcohols, smoking, wearing half-cloths on the main streets. Do I judge them? No. I do get shocked for a moment but later I realize that it's their exploration. They are subjective to open themselves up to that level. For me, my level does not allow me to open up to that extent but still, it has helped me a lot by portraying my life in a normal sense as I always wanted it to be. I wanted my life to be an inspiring one. It is. I wanted my life to be fun-loving. It is. I wanted all religions to be my destination. It is. I wanted both the genders to feel free with me, visit my home, stay for night-outs. It is. With all these things being in my control, I feel happy about myself. My life is a happy life. This is what our school books taught us- To have a happy family and a happy life.

             Seriously speaking, if society has problems with my doings or anyone's, close your eyes. Or I would say, roast it and let some animals have it as a "Human Tandoori". Because if your eyes does not like my way of living, then you don't have any damn option to change me, the only one that you have is to change your way of thinking. In last decade, even our movies have changed. It has grown our visibility. This generation preserves a guarantee of changing this society for good. I am part of it. And I am proud of it. Thankfully, I am not a part of society that sits and judge the way of living of people. In my colony, a boy has married his father's sister after his parents died. Difference of age between him and his "buaa" wasn't much. They got attracted. They married. People keep talking about them while they lead their life beautifully. I say,"Why do we concentrate so much on such people who are doing something that we don't have guts to do?" There are certain things that we do which others are not doing. So when we don't want others to interfere with us, why do we interfere so much? Let's leave everyone in their very own conditions.

             Some elders would say that,"Beta, kal jab shaadi ki baat chalegi toh log pata karenge. Tab jaanenge ki tumhare saath aisa ho chuka hai toh achchey rishtey nahi milenge". Are Priy uncle, bhaad me jaayein rishtey. Nahi chahiye. Agar wo na kar sakoon jisko mera dil gawara karta hai toh us shaadi se bhi main kabhi khush na reh paaun jinke gharwaalon ko mere "Aaj" se kuch lena dena nahi hai balki mere "beetey huye kal" ki guarantee jyada pyaari hai. I am proud of my past and present. And when I am proud of it, I want everyone around me to be proud of it. If they aren't, I don't consider you, bloody blaming society. A senior that I had in my Graduation college had relationship with her classmate for all the three years. Later on, she went on marrying someone else while the boy got engaged with another girl. We, the society, keeps cribbing about them but all the four people who went through this change are happy and satisfied with it. What role do we as society play here? Just spoiling their natural life rather than supporting what they did for staying happy for all their life.

            When Aishwarya Rai was getting married with Abhishek Bachchan after her negatively-famous love saga with Salman Khan, everyone of us predicted that this relationship will not be successful. It has been almost 5 years and a tight slap is what we, the society, have got in return for judging their marriage. Everyone gets married even after having the most ugly past. Even the girl whose face gets burned gets a family which demands a heart full of beauty than a beautiful face. And I hope everyone of you have read about legends like Bismillah Khan etc who ran away from their homes just because their parents were not in sync with their passion and liking for life. They termed even their parents as society when they found that they are not been allowed to do what they are comfortable with.

              In the end I would just like to say that nothing is wrong if your heart knows that you are happy with whatever you are doing. Be assured that when the question would arise by the right people (and not by society), you would be having answers to prove that whatever you were up to had a reason. Have reasons for almost everything that you do- even sins and you would never face any trouble. But if you are yourself doubtful while giving a good reason for anything that you do, stop doing it by yourself. But just because this society is jealous and not very happening with what is happening with you, does not let the happenings quit themselves from your life. Keep doing what you do. You will always remain happy. This society will never come to uplift your position, to give a support, but they will definitely come to suggest you something that you no matter what will disagree to it because they want instability in your life. They just feel depressed to see you happy. Nothing else. That's all.

 Thanks.

Rejection Is A Part Of Life, Just Learn To Deal With It And Keep Moving..!!

48th BLOG POST -->>

              Everyone who has love to offer is worthy of receiving the same in return, and when you finally meet the man or woman you are destined to spend the rest of your life with, it will be easy to understand the difference between true love and folly. Take your time when searching for a new love interest, and do not jump too quickly into another relationship. After experiencing rejection, you will know when you have met someone who is truly worthy of your love, and there will be no question in your mind as to how that person feels. It sometimes takes rejection to recognize true love when it comes along, and in time, the painful feelings that lingered from rejection will forever fade into the past.
              First let's look at - what is rejection? It looks like someone decides they don't want to spend time, money, or share their heart with us. A person seemingly rejects us in favor of someone or something else. Or so it seems at first glance. What makes rejection seemingly hurt so much is that we perceive it to be a rejection of us personally. As a person, a human being. Rejection is something that everyone has to deal with at one time or another. Even those with a great deal of confidence and self-esteem will ultimately experience rejection at some point in their lives, and for those who have yet to experience rejection, the feeling of rejection is comparable to being slapped in the face, only the pain can be much worse. The emotional pain of rejection lingers much longer than physical pain, and it sometimes leaves obvious scars that affect future relationships. It is possible to overcome rejection and avoid suffering from lingering emotional pain, but it is not necessary to understand why the rejection occurred in order to heal. Those who were once infatuated by a particular individual and were ultimately faced with rejection must only understand they are not necessarily to blame. This is the first step in healing and eventually dealing with the pain of rejection.
              Being rejected does not mean you are unattractive, unappealing, or undeserving of love. It simply means that for unknown reasons, the person who was once in your life made the decision to cut ties. In reality, your former love interest might not have wanted to become emotionally involved with anyone, and he or she may have even felt undeserving of the attention and love you had to offer. Everyone has special characteristics, and if you fell for someone who ultimately rejected you, chances are you are the type of person who looks for the good in everyone. You may have been initially attracted to their looks or appreciated something unique about their personality. Maybe you were never really compatible and simply wanted someone to fill a void in your life.
             Rejection does not serve you best when it comes from ego, however, when you come from Soul, when you remember that you are the Part of God you really are how could you be rejected?  You could only be rejected by someone who has forgotten, for that moment, the Part of God that is inside of them.  When the person who knows that they are also Part of God, as you are, connects with you then only acceptance is possible.  God will not reject God.  The Part of God inside of them can only attract the Part of God inside of you.  Now you have found someone truly worthy of you, someone to take to the dance as well as, perhaps, to the dance of life.
              Acceptance of rejection will serve you well as you use this opportunity to find someone truly worthy of you, whether for a dance, or as your partner through your life together. Accepting the fact that you are rejected is very difficult and probably will affect yourself esteem. Everyone agrees that rejection possibly hurts you and demands you to have enough braved to accept it. But, you should have to be strong and maintain the dignity in order to realize the person refuse you. When you realize that she or he cannot accept your love, avoid trying to do everything to persuade her or him to love you. The type of this person will absolutely obstruct the independence of her or him. You also cannot build any relationship with her or him even just for a friend. The worst to becoming this type is you will be different character from the real you. Hold the principle of human rights strongly, so you will realize that you do not have any right to force someone like you. On the other side, you also should respect the rights of someone to like you or not. The rejection could be happening because she or he cannot see your qualities at all instead, they may only consider about your performance.
               The personality you are insisted maybe loves someone else so, she, or he can't accept you. Alternatively, if the person is loved by many other people and you are not included in her or his type. Think that the individual would not be compatible for you because the right one will not hurt you. Then think about the next step, it would be better if you start to think to recognize another figure. Imagine the possibilities if you are trying to force your feeling to her or him. In most cases, you may will be extremely sad and shock because the person cannot accept you at all. Then try to move on rather than making a huge pain of the entire life. You need to realize that the world is very wide, and you can find many people right there to build a relationship. Find the right person and forget those who do not belong to you and never will be.Thank you for rejecting me, you have brought me closer to my true loved one.